Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Is Butterfly Dead Or Alive?
One day a child goes to his mother and asks her, "Ma, who is that old man sitting on the mountain? " Mother answers, "Don't call him an old man, for he is Lord Buddha, who knows the answer to every question in this universe." "Really, he knows answers to all questions?" asks the child. "Yes my dear" replies the mother. The child goes to the mountain where Buddha is meditating, catches a butterfly in from the garden, and cupping the butterfly gently in his hands, he aproaches Buddha. Keeping his hand behind his back, he asks Buddha? " Is the thing in my hand alive or dead?" The child thinks that if Buddha answers that the thing is alive, he will crush the butterfly in his hand and show the dead butterfly proving Buddha wrong. And if Buddha answers that the thing is dead, he will open his gently cupped hand, allowing the butterfly to fly away showing that the butterfly was alive and again proving Buddha wrong. Thus Buddha did not know the answer to all questions. " Is the thing in my hand alive or dead?" repeats the eager child. The Buddha opens his eyes, nods his head and replies, "My dear son, the answer lies in your hands!"
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Your baby is ugly
Another useful concept for technical communication sessions.
Your baby is ugly
My consulting company is owned by a great woman with lots of tech industry savvy. Just lately she gave me the phrase for it: "You can't tell someone their baby is ugly, no matter how you disguise the statement". And it can be very true. No matter how many people laugh at the pictures behind their back, it will never be ugly to a parent
Your baby is ugly
My consulting company is owned by a great woman with lots of tech industry savvy. Just lately she gave me the phrase for it: "You can't tell someone their baby is ugly, no matter how you disguise the statement". And it can be very true. No matter how many people laugh at the pictures behind their back, it will never be ugly to a parent
Monday, September 27, 2004
Johannes Linstead
Johannes Linstead
"Spanish guitar, Greek bouzouki, and Gypsy violin come alive in MEDITERRANEA the fifth CD by Billboard charting guitarist/composer Johannes Linstead. Close your eyes and experience the passion and mystique of far away lands in songs like 'Journey To Alcazaba' - a seven minute masterpiece destined to become a classic among guitar aficionados. Johannes reveals his tender side in the romantic 'Estrellas Sobre Ella' where guitars and violin swirl in melodic melancholy accented by beautiful vocalizations. Features musicians from countries as diverse as Greece, Syria, India, the Ukraine and others. Johannes and his group are joined again by violinist Vasyl Popadiouk. Available everywhere, including Barnes and Noble, Sams, and Borders, on September 14th in the US, and September 28th in Canada. Other territories may have later release dates.
New Shows Added!"
At last I found a guitarist, whose concert I want to visit. (And strangely enough it's not without a touch of Ukraine too!).
"Spanish guitar, Greek bouzouki, and Gypsy violin come alive in MEDITERRANEA the fifth CD by Billboard charting guitarist/composer Johannes Linstead. Close your eyes and experience the passion and mystique of far away lands in songs like 'Journey To Alcazaba' - a seven minute masterpiece destined to become a classic among guitar aficionados. Johannes reveals his tender side in the romantic 'Estrellas Sobre Ella' where guitars and violin swirl in melodic melancholy accented by beautiful vocalizations. Features musicians from countries as diverse as Greece, Syria, India, the Ukraine and others. Johannes and his group are joined again by violinist Vasyl Popadiouk. Available everywhere, including Barnes and Noble, Sams, and Borders, on September 14th in the US, and September 28th in Canada. Other territories may have later release dates.
New Shows Added!"
At last I found a guitarist, whose concert I want to visit. (And strangely enough it's not without a touch of Ukraine too!).
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Thursday, September 02, 2004
DDOHH: Religions of the world
Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Confusianism: Confucius says: shit happens
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.
TV Evangalism: Send more shit.
Atheism: No shit.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Jehovahs Witness: Knock, knock, shit happens.
Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Confusianism: Confucius says: shit happens
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.
TV Evangalism: Send more shit.
Atheism: No shit.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Jehovahs Witness: Knock, knock, shit happens.
Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
HRF: His Girl Friday
His Girl Friday (1940)
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com essential video
The Front Page, Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur's classic 1928 newspaper play, has had three official film versions and contributed structural DNA to half the movies ever made about professional camaraderie and fierce love-hate friendships. Lewis Milestone's 1931 movie is well respected (Billy Wilder's 1974 version isn't), but this is one case where the remake towers brilliantined head and blocked shoulders above the original.
Howard Hawks had the inspired notion of making Hildy Johnson--the ace newsman whom demonic editor Walter Burns is trying to keep from quitting and getting married--a she instead of a he. What's more, she's not only Walter's star reporter but also his ex-wife. When Hildy (Rosalind Russell) comes to tell Walter (Cary Grant) she's leaving the newspaper business, he bamboozles her into carrying out one last assignment--a death-row interview with a little nebbish (John Qualen) convicted of killing a policeman. It sounds like a snap, but before you can say screwball comedy, the press room of the Criminal Courts Building has become ground zero for all the lunacy a jailbreak, a shooting, an impromptu suicide, a corrupt city administration, and the most Machiavellian "hero" in the American cinema can supply.
His Girl Friday is one of the, oh, five greatest dialogue comedies ever made; Hawks had his cast play it at breakneck speed, and audiences hyperventilate trying to finish with one laugh so they can do justice to the four that have accumulated in the meantime. Russell, not Hawks's first choice to play Hildy, is triumphant in the part, holding her own as "one of the guys" and creating an enduring feminist icon. Grant is a force of nature, giving a performance of such concentrated frenzy and diamond brilliance that you owe it to yourself to devote at least one viewing of the movie to watching him alone. But then you have to go back (lucky you) and watch it again for the sake of the press-room gang--Roscoe Karns, Porter Hall, Cliff Edwards, Regis Toomey, Frank Jenks, and others--the kind of ensemble work that gets character actors onto Parnassus. --Richard T. Jameson --This text refers to the VHS Tape edition.
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com essential video
The Front Page, Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur's classic 1928 newspaper play, has had three official film versions and contributed structural DNA to half the movies ever made about professional camaraderie and fierce love-hate friendships. Lewis Milestone's 1931 movie is well respected (Billy Wilder's 1974 version isn't), but this is one case where the remake towers brilliantined head and blocked shoulders above the original.
Howard Hawks had the inspired notion of making Hildy Johnson--the ace newsman whom demonic editor Walter Burns is trying to keep from quitting and getting married--a she instead of a he. What's more, she's not only Walter's star reporter but also his ex-wife. When Hildy (Rosalind Russell) comes to tell Walter (Cary Grant) she's leaving the newspaper business, he bamboozles her into carrying out one last assignment--a death-row interview with a little nebbish (John Qualen) convicted of killing a policeman. It sounds like a snap, but before you can say screwball comedy, the press room of the Criminal Courts Building has become ground zero for all the lunacy a jailbreak, a shooting, an impromptu suicide, a corrupt city administration, and the most Machiavellian "hero" in the American cinema can supply.
His Girl Friday is one of the, oh, five greatest dialogue comedies ever made; Hawks had his cast play it at breakneck speed, and audiences hyperventilate trying to finish with one laugh so they can do justice to the four that have accumulated in the meantime. Russell, not Hawks's first choice to play Hildy, is triumphant in the part, holding her own as "one of the guys" and creating an enduring feminist icon. Grant is a force of nature, giving a performance of such concentrated frenzy and diamond brilliance that you owe it to yourself to devote at least one viewing of the movie to watching him alone. But then you have to go back (lucky you) and watch it again for the sake of the press-room gang--Roscoe Karns, Porter Hall, Cliff Edwards, Regis Toomey, Frank Jenks, and others--the kind of ensemble work that gets character actors onto Parnassus. --Richard T. Jameson --This text refers to the VHS Tape edition.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
jDev: .JNLP with IExplorer mime type error
sun post
Re: Invalid Argument Error
Author: bghuber
In Reply To: Re: Invalid Argument Error Apr 6, 2004 6:30 PM
Reply 7 of 8
Thanks for the useful info on this problem - but using a JSP to launch a JNLP creates another problem on IE.
Since IE guesses at mime types instead of using the server-sent type, IE prompts for a handler for type "JSP_AUTO_FILE" when using a jsp to launch a JNLP script. Even when deselecting "Always ask for this type of file" IE6 continues to ask every time the jsp link is clicked. Presumably it is using the file extension instead of the server-sent mime type of
response.setContentType ("application/x-java-jnlp-file");
in my JSP (which works perfectly on mozilla). Has anyone found a workaround for this?
More info on IE mime-type "guessing"-
http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?sd=msdn&scid=kb;en-us;293336
Re: Invalid Argument Error
Author: markabrown
In Reply To: Re: Invalid Argument Error Aug 4, 2004 1:20 PM
Reply 8 of 8
Thanks to the above post, I found a workaround for IE. In your JSP code for dynamically building the JNLP tag, add the following code:
The key is in the way IE determines the MIME type. Since the Content-Type is set to application/x-java-jnlp, IE thinks it should have primarily binary content. Since the file actually has text/xml content IE sees a discrepancy and decides to look it up in the registry by file extension (ie. JSP). This doesn't match a JSP type so IE complains that it doesn't know what to do with it. By adding the above code, you've overridden the filename in the browser cache so when it gets to the step above of getting the file extension, it uses .jnlp instead of .jsp. It finds the registry entry for .jnlp and launches webstart.
Hope this helps,
Mark Brown
Re: Invalid Argument Error
Author: bghuber
In Reply To: Re: Invalid Argument Error Apr 6, 2004 6:30 PM
Reply 7 of 8
Thanks for the useful info on this problem - but using a JSP to launch a JNLP creates another problem on IE.
Since IE guesses at mime types instead of using the server-sent type, IE prompts for a handler for type "JSP_AUTO_FILE" when using a jsp to launch a JNLP script. Even when deselecting "Always ask for this type of file" IE6 continues to ask every time the jsp link is clicked. Presumably it is using the file extension instead of the server-sent mime type of
response.setContentType ("application/x-java-jnlp-file");
in my JSP (which works perfectly on mozilla). Has anyone found a workaround for this?
More info on IE mime-type "guessing"-
http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?sd=msdn&scid=kb;en-us;293336
Re: Invalid Argument Error
Author: markabrown
In Reply To: Re: Invalid Argument Error Aug 4, 2004 1:20 PM
Reply 8 of 8
Thanks to the above post, I found a workaround for IE. In your JSP code for dynamically building the JNLP tag, add the following code:
// this line is necessary to force MS Internet Explorer to recognize the MIME type
String fileName = request.getServletPath();
fileName = fileName.substring(fileName.lastIndexOf("/") + 1);
fileName = fileName.substring(0, fileName.indexOf(".")) + ".jnlp";
response.addHeader("Content-Disposition", "Inline; fileName=" + fileName);
The key is in the way IE determines the MIME type. Since the Content-Type is set to application/x-java-jnlp, IE thinks it should have primarily binary content. Since the file actually has text/xml content IE sees a discrepancy and decides to look it up in the registry by file extension (ie. JSP). This doesn't match a JSP type so IE complains that it doesn't know what to do with it. By adding the above code, you've overridden the filename in the browser cache so when it gets to the step above of getting the file extension, it uses .jnlp instead of .jsp. It finds the registry entry for .jnlp and launches webstart.
Hope this helps,
Mark Brown
Monday, August 09, 2004
DDOHH: Working Maths
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
BOG-STANDARD
World Wide Words is copyright © Michael Quinion, 1996–2004.
[Q] From Paul Gretton in The Netherlands; similar questions came from Bernie Booth and Pete Shaw in Sheffield: “Any thoughts on the origin of bog-standard, as in bog-standard comprehensive?”
[A] First some background for readers not close to British affairs. The comment about “bog-standard comprehensives” was produced at a briefing in February 2001 by the Prime Minister’s press spokesman, Alastair Campbell. A comprehensive school in Britain is one for children from 11 to 16 that caters for both sexes and all ranges of abilities.
Bog-standard is a well-known informal term, which originated in Britain; it means something ordinary or basic, but often in a dismissive or derogatory way. Mr Campbell used it like that and offended those who support the comprehensive system. (It had sufficient impact, though probably only temporarily, that I’ve seen one writer refer to a young man “just out of the local bog standard”, expecting to be understood.)
Bog-standard is a puzzling phrase and nobody knows where it came from. It first appeared in writing in the 1980s, seemingly out of the air. Several subscribers have told me that they remember it from the late 1960s and early 1970s in Rolls Royce and Ford factories and from other engineering environments.
The most obvious suggestion is that it has a link with bog. This has long been a British slang term for a lavatory or toilet. It’s a shortened form of the older bog-house for a latrine, privy, or place of ease, which is seventeenth century and is a variation on an even older term, boggard. (This doesn’t seem to have any connection with the other sense of boggard or boggart for a goblin or sprite.) The slangy bog definitely has a negative edge to it, so it might just be the origin, though how it came about is far from clear.
Despite the obvious association of ideas, the set of words for privy places doesn’t seem to link directly with bog for a marshy area (though the association no doubt helped it along). There are derogatory terms associated with bogs, such as bog-trotter, an eighteenth-century term of abuse for an Irish person. But words like these hardly seem like a source for bog-standard.
There is a common story that bog here is really an acronym from “British or German”, on the grounds that standards in manufacturing were set in Victorian times by British and German engineering. That’s hardly likely, but it’s an interesting example of the tendency among amateur word sleuths to explain any puzzling word as an acronym.
The only other suggestion I’ve seen for the origin of the term is that it’s a corruption or variant form of box-standard, for something that is just the way it comes out of the box, with no customisation or improvements. There’s a big problem with this, in that there’s almost no written evidence for anybody using box-standard in this way.
The exception is a comment by the British computer inventor and all-round genius Sir Clive Sinclair. In February 1983, he said in an interview with the magazine Computerworld: “Luckily, we cannot foresee the day when a computer becomes just a standard box. There will be box-standard machines along the road, but we do not simply have to make those”.
In the same way that one swallow doesn’t make a summer, one sight of the phrase is hardly conclusive evidence, but it does suggest that there just conceivably might have been a jargon phrase in the electronics business at the time, which has since been appropriated and generalised. Or Sir Clive may just have made it up on the spur of the moment as a pun on bog-standard, and the true history of the phrase lies elsewhere.
[Q] From Paul Gretton in The Netherlands; similar questions came from Bernie Booth and Pete Shaw in Sheffield: “Any thoughts on the origin of bog-standard, as in bog-standard comprehensive?”
[A] First some background for readers not close to British affairs. The comment about “bog-standard comprehensives” was produced at a briefing in February 2001 by the Prime Minister’s press spokesman, Alastair Campbell. A comprehensive school in Britain is one for children from 11 to 16 that caters for both sexes and all ranges of abilities.
Bog-standard is a well-known informal term, which originated in Britain; it means something ordinary or basic, but often in a dismissive or derogatory way. Mr Campbell used it like that and offended those who support the comprehensive system. (It had sufficient impact, though probably only temporarily, that I’ve seen one writer refer to a young man “just out of the local bog standard”, expecting to be understood.)
Bog-standard is a puzzling phrase and nobody knows where it came from. It first appeared in writing in the 1980s, seemingly out of the air. Several subscribers have told me that they remember it from the late 1960s and early 1970s in Rolls Royce and Ford factories and from other engineering environments.
The most obvious suggestion is that it has a link with bog. This has long been a British slang term for a lavatory or toilet. It’s a shortened form of the older bog-house for a latrine, privy, or place of ease, which is seventeenth century and is a variation on an even older term, boggard. (This doesn’t seem to have any connection with the other sense of boggard or boggart for a goblin or sprite.) The slangy bog definitely has a negative edge to it, so it might just be the origin, though how it came about is far from clear.
Despite the obvious association of ideas, the set of words for privy places doesn’t seem to link directly with bog for a marshy area (though the association no doubt helped it along). There are derogatory terms associated with bogs, such as bog-trotter, an eighteenth-century term of abuse for an Irish person. But words like these hardly seem like a source for bog-standard.
There is a common story that bog here is really an acronym from “British or German”, on the grounds that standards in manufacturing were set in Victorian times by British and German engineering. That’s hardly likely, but it’s an interesting example of the tendency among amateur word sleuths to explain any puzzling word as an acronym.
The only other suggestion I’ve seen for the origin of the term is that it’s a corruption or variant form of box-standard, for something that is just the way it comes out of the box, with no customisation or improvements. There’s a big problem with this, in that there’s almost no written evidence for anybody using box-standard in this way.
The exception is a comment by the British computer inventor and all-round genius Sir Clive Sinclair. In February 1983, he said in an interview with the magazine Computerworld: “Luckily, we cannot foresee the day when a computer becomes just a standard box. There will be box-standard machines along the road, but we do not simply have to make those”.
In the same way that one swallow doesn’t make a summer, one sight of the phrase is hardly conclusive evidence, but it does suggest that there just conceivably might have been a jargon phrase in the electronics business at the time, which has since been appropriated and generalised. Or Sir Clive may just have made it up on the spur of the moment as a pun on bog-standard, and the true history of the phrase lies elsewhere.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
DDOHH: A beautiful Sound (You're not a monk.)
A man's car broke down as he was driving past a beautiful, old monastery. He walked up the drive and knocked on the front door of the monastery. A monk answered, listened to the man's story and graciously invited him to spend the night. The monks fed the man and led him to a tiny chamber in which to sleep. The man thanked the monks and slept serenely until he was awakened by a strange, beautiful sound.
The next morning, as the monks repaired his car, he asked about the sound that woke him. The monks said, We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk. The man was disappointed, but eager to be gone, so he thanked the monks for their kindness and went on his way. During quiet moments afterward, the man pondered the source of the alluring sound.
Several years later, the man was driving in the same area. He stopped at the monastery on a whim and asked admittance. He explained to the monks that he had so enjoyed his previous stay, he wondered if he might be permitted to spend another night under their peaceful roof. The monks agreed and the man stayed. Late that night, he heard the sound again. The next morning, he begged the monks to explain the sound. The monks said, "We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk. "
By now, the man's curiosity had turned to obsession. He decided to
give up everything and become a monk if that was the only way to learn about the sound. He informed the monks of his decision and began the long and arduous task of becoming a monk.
Seventeen years later, the man was finally established as a true member of the order. When the celebration ended, he humbly went to the leader of the order and asked to be told the source of the sound. Silently, the old monk led the new monk to a huge wooden door. He opened the door with a golden key. That door swung open to reveal a second door of silver, then a third of gold and so on until they had passed through twelve doors, each more magnificent than the last. The new monk's face was awash with tears of joy as he finally beheld the wondrous source of the mysterious sound he had heard so many years before....
|
|
|
v
|
|
|
|
v
|
|
|
|
v
...but I can't tell you what it was. You're not a monk.
The next morning, as the monks repaired his car, he asked about the sound that woke him. The monks said, We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk. The man was disappointed, but eager to be gone, so he thanked the monks for their kindness and went on his way. During quiet moments afterward, the man pondered the source of the alluring sound.
Several years later, the man was driving in the same area. He stopped at the monastery on a whim and asked admittance. He explained to the monks that he had so enjoyed his previous stay, he wondered if he might be permitted to spend another night under their peaceful roof. The monks agreed and the man stayed. Late that night, he heard the sound again. The next morning, he begged the monks to explain the sound. The monks said, "We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk. "
By now, the man's curiosity had turned to obsession. He decided to
give up everything and become a monk if that was the only way to learn about the sound. He informed the monks of his decision and began the long and arduous task of becoming a monk.
Seventeen years later, the man was finally established as a true member of the order. When the celebration ended, he humbly went to the leader of the order and asked to be told the source of the sound. Silently, the old monk led the new monk to a huge wooden door. He opened the door with a golden key. That door swung open to reveal a second door of silver, then a third of gold and so on until they had passed through twelve doors, each more magnificent than the last. The new monk's face was awash with tears of joy as he finally beheld the wondrous source of the mysterious sound he had heard so many years before....
|
|
|
v
|
|
|
|
v
|
|
|
|
v
...but I can't tell you what it was. You're not a monk.
Monday, July 26, 2004
DDOHH: The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining tomy husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristicallytelling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with asuggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece oftoilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Puzzled but willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paperand stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I ask.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper betweenmy breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your arse, didn't it?"
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece oftoilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Puzzled but willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paperand stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I ask.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper betweenmy breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your arse, didn't it?"
Friday, July 23, 2004
Totally GridBag
Today I was doing research on GridBagLayout and found out that it was my turn to find this link not funny.
http://madbean.com/blog/2004/17/totallygridbag.html
http://madbean.com/blog/2004/17/totallygridbag.html
Monday, July 19, 2004
FSL: The Bee Gees: I've Gotta Get a Message to You
I've Gotta Get a Message to You
The Bee Gees
The preacher talked to me and he smiled,
Said, "Come and walk with me, come and walk one more mile.
Now for once in your life you're alone,
but you ain't got a dime, there's no time for the phone."
I've just got to get a message to you, hold on, hold on.
One more hour and my life will be through, hold on, hold on.
I told him I'm in no hurry,
but if I broke her heart, won't you tell her I'm sorry.
And for once in my life I'm alone,
and I've got to let her know just in time before I go.
I've just go to get a message to you, hold on, hold on.
One more hour and my life will be through, hold on, hold on.
Well I laughed but that didn't hurt,
and it's only her love that keeps me wearing this dirt.
Now I'm crying but deep down inside,
well I did it to him, now it's my turn to die.
I've just got to get a message to you, hold on, hold on.
One more hour and my life will be through, hold on, hold on.
The Bee Gees
The preacher talked to me and he smiled,
Said, "Come and walk with me, come and walk one more mile.
Now for once in your life you're alone,
but you ain't got a dime, there's no time for the phone."
I've just got to get a message to you, hold on, hold on.
One more hour and my life will be through, hold on, hold on.
I told him I'm in no hurry,
but if I broke her heart, won't you tell her I'm sorry.
And for once in my life I'm alone,
and I've got to let her know just in time before I go.
I've just go to get a message to you, hold on, hold on.
One more hour and my life will be through, hold on, hold on.
Well I laughed but that didn't hurt,
and it's only her love that keeps me wearing this dirt.
Now I'm crying but deep down inside,
well I did it to him, now it's my turn to die.
I've just got to get a message to you, hold on, hold on.
One more hour and my life will be through, hold on, hold on.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
BC4J Discussion with a number of useful points
New Struts-based Toy Store Sample App from Oracle
Got there via Steve Muench's blog and found it mostly useful as some questions has generated quite enlightening and insightful answers with further leads to follow.
Got there via Steve Muench's blog and found it mostly useful as some questions has generated quite enlightening and insightful answers with further leads to follow.
DDOHH: Actors/actresses...
Actresses/Actrius
Spain 1996/Dir Ventura Pons
Review
...old adage that actors are something less than men and actresses are
something more than women.
Spain 1996/Dir Ventura Pons
Review
...old adage that actors are something less than men and actresses are
something more than women.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
DDOHH: Eric Douglas
From Popbitch
Eric (son of Kirk) Douglas, who died this week, tried his hand at stand-up comedy back in the 80s. He had some success in Las Vegas and brought his, frankly dreadful, act to London. On the first night Eric gets about two jokes in before the heckling begins. Used to respect from audiences because he was the son of one of America's best loved actors Eric was surprised at the hostile reaction. Eventually he snapped and screamed "You can't treat me like this... I'm the son of Kirk Douglas!"
After a very brief pause, a wag at the back of the audience stood up and shouted "No! I'm the son of Kirk Douglas"...then someone else stood up and shouted "No! I'm the son of Kirk Douglas" and so on.
Eric left the stage in tears.
Eric (son of Kirk) Douglas, who died this week, tried his hand at stand-up comedy back in the 80s. He had some success in Las Vegas and brought his, frankly dreadful, act to London. On the first night Eric gets about two jokes in before the heckling begins. Used to respect from audiences because he was the son of one of America's best loved actors Eric was surprised at the hostile reaction. Eventually he snapped and screamed "You can't treat me like this... I'm the son of Kirk Douglas!"
After a very brief pause, a wag at the back of the audience stood up and shouted "No! I'm the son of Kirk Douglas"...then someone else stood up and shouted "No! I'm the son of Kirk Douglas" and so on.
Eric left the stage in tears.
Monday, July 12, 2004
IRL: Samurai Techniques for Your Work and Life
Yet another gem from my Japanese shelf that is out-of-print nowadays.
Alas.
Fighting to Win: Samurai Techniques for Your Work and Life
by David J. Rogers
The Teaman and the Ronin
In feudal Japan, a poor practitioner of chado, the Way of tea, unwittingly insulted a ronin, a masterless samurai. Outraged, the ronin challenged the servant to a duel.
"I'm not a warrior," the teaman said, "and I'm very sorry if I offended you. I certainly didn't mean to. Please accept my apology."
But the ronin would have none of it. "We meet at dawn tomorrow," he said, and as was customary he handed the terrified teaman a sword. "Go practice," said the ronin.
The servant ran to the home of a famous sword master and told him the terrible thing that had happened.
"A unique situation," the sword master said. "For you will surely die. The thing I might be able to help you with is isagi-yoku, the art of dying well."
While they talked, the teaman prepared and poured tea. The masterful way he did it caught the eye of the sword master. He slapped his knee and said, "Forget what I just told you. Put yourself into the state of mind you were in as you prepared the tea and you can win this fight."
The teaman was shocked. The sword the ronin had given him was the first he had ever held. "What state of mind?"
"Were you thinking 'I'm a teaman?' " asked the master. "No. I wasn't thinking at all."
"That's it!" The sword master laughed. "Tomorrow draw your sword and hold it high over your head, ready to cut your opponent down. Don't think you're a teaman or that you're a swordsman. Just listen. When you hear him shout, strike him down."
The next morning the ronin appeared on the field and the teaman immediately raised his sword overhead, his eyes on the ronin, his ears waiting for the battle cry.
For long moments the ronin stared at the raised sword, and the determination in his opponent's eyes. Finally the ronin said, "I cannot beat you." He bowed to his opponent and then left the field.
Alas.
Fighting to Win: Samurai Techniques for Your Work and Life
by David J. Rogers
The Teaman and the Ronin
In feudal Japan, a poor practitioner of chado, the Way of tea, unwittingly insulted a ronin, a masterless samurai. Outraged, the ronin challenged the servant to a duel.
"I'm not a warrior," the teaman said, "and I'm very sorry if I offended you. I certainly didn't mean to. Please accept my apology."
But the ronin would have none of it. "We meet at dawn tomorrow," he said, and as was customary he handed the terrified teaman a sword. "Go practice," said the ronin.
The servant ran to the home of a famous sword master and told him the terrible thing that had happened.
"A unique situation," the sword master said. "For you will surely die. The thing I might be able to help you with is isagi-yoku, the art of dying well."
While they talked, the teaman prepared and poured tea. The masterful way he did it caught the eye of the sword master. He slapped his knee and said, "Forget what I just told you. Put yourself into the state of mind you were in as you prepared the tea and you can win this fight."
The teaman was shocked. The sword the ronin had given him was the first he had ever held. "What state of mind?"
"Were you thinking 'I'm a teaman?' " asked the master. "No. I wasn't thinking at all."
"That's it!" The sword master laughed. "Tomorrow draw your sword and hold it high over your head, ready to cut your opponent down. Don't think you're a teaman or that you're a swordsman. Just listen. When you hear him shout, strike him down."
The next morning the ronin appeared on the field and the teaman immediately raised his sword overhead, his eyes on the ronin, his ears waiting for the battle cry.
For long moments the ronin stared at the raised sword, and the determination in his opponent's eyes. Finally the ronin said, "I cannot beat you." He bowed to his opponent and then left the field.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Java 1.5.0 Now Officially Java 5.0
slashdot.org
Hm.... But most credible explanation:
Re:Other Famous Version Number Skips (Score:5, Interesting)
by Kourino (206616) on Sunday July 04, @06:45PM (#9608903)
(http://slashdot.org/)
Emacs.
Some time ago, the developers realized that GNU Emacs would probably never change its major version number (which is 1). So, after some point, instead of "GNU Emacs 1.x.y", they started dropping the 1 (since it was constant information and therefore redundant). So the current release of GNU Emacs is actually 1.21.3, but it's called "GNU Emacs 21.3".
This actually appears to be what Sun is doing now. They've done it before with Solaris/SunOS ... twice, in fact.
Version *strip* not skip. (Score:4, Informative)
by Turadg (13362) on Sunday July 04, @07:48PM (#9609324)
(http://aleahmad.net/turadg/)
Exactly. This isn't a version number "skip"; it's a version number "strip".
The second digit becomes the first and the third the second. This is perfectly in line with accepted norms when you consider the improvements of 1.4.2 over 1.4.1. For minor increments, Sun had to resort to seriously odd numbers like 1.4.2_04.
Makes sense to me. The "2" in J2SE is unfortunate, but at this point the numericity of that character is dead. J2SE, J2EE and J2ME are just brands, not versions.
Hm.... But most credible explanation:
Re:Other Famous Version Number Skips (Score:5, Interesting)
by Kourino (206616) on Sunday July 04, @06:45PM (#9608903)
(http://slashdot.org/)
Emacs.
Some time ago, the developers realized that GNU Emacs would probably never change its major version number (which is 1). So, after some point, instead of "GNU Emacs 1.x.y", they started dropping the 1 (since it was constant information and therefore redundant). So the current release of GNU Emacs is actually 1.21.3, but it's called "GNU Emacs 21.3".
This actually appears to be what Sun is doing now. They've done it before with Solaris/SunOS ... twice, in fact.
Version *strip* not skip. (Score:4, Informative)
by Turadg (13362)
(http://aleahmad.net/turadg/)
Exactly. This isn't a version number "skip"; it's a version number "strip".
The second digit becomes the first and the third the second. This is perfectly in line with accepted norms when you consider the improvements of 1.4.2 over 1.4.1. For minor increments, Sun had to resort to seriously odd numbers like 1.4.2_04.
Makes sense to me. The "2" in J2SE is unfortunate, but at this point the numericity of that character is dead. J2SE, J2EE and J2ME are just brands, not versions.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
DDOHH: England jokes
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
OXO were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red,
white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing
stock and crumbled in the box.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portuguese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90
Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England football team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence
Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman
in a Portuguese nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted
by the English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I
find it totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make
a successful pass to or at anyone."
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you
never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because
when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second
surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in
alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything
inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English
football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and
arses are interchangeable."
Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English
football jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save
his family from the embarrassment.
Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps with pictures of English football players on them. People couldn't
figure out which side to spit on.
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to
their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
OXO were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red,
white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing
stock and crumbled in the box.
Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portuguese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 90
Minutes and still come second!
Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England football team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!
Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence
Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman
in a Portuguese nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted
by the English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I
find it totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make
a successful pass to or at anyone."
Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you
never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because
when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second
surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in
alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything
inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English
football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and
arses are interchangeable."
Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English
football jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save
his family from the embarrassment.
Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps with pictures of English football players on them. People couldn't
figure out which side to spit on.
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to
their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Maths: Where is the father?
At present the mother is 21 years older than her son.
After 6 years, the age of the mother will be 5 times the age of the son.
Question: Where is the father now?
Solution:
Today:
the son is X years old
and the mother is Y years old:
--- X+21=Y
In 6 years:
--- 5(X+6)=Y+6
-------------------------------------------------
5X+30 = X+21+6
4X = -3
X = -3/4
The son is -3/4 years old. That means -9 months.
So, the father is on top of her ....
After 6 years, the age of the mother will be 5 times the age of the son.
Question: Where is the father now?
Solution:
Today:
the son is X years old
and the mother is Y years old:
--- X+21=Y
In 6 years:
--- 5(X+6)=Y+6
-------------------------------------------------
5X+30 = X+21+6
4X = -3
X = -3/4
The son is -3/4 years old. That means -9 months.
So, the father is on top of her ....
Friday, June 25, 2004
UUU: Multi-line grep with AWK
UUU - Unbelievably Useful Utilities:
I will be talking more about awk, awk vs. perl later, but this time I would like to demonstrate how easy it is to have versatile multi-grep functionality using AWK.
The goal is to print previous or next line that follows/goes before a line consisting of dashes (i.e. comments in C++/Java, text file with headings, etc.).
The text file is
test.txt
before line 1
--------
after line 1
x
y
z
before line 2
--------
after line 2
x
y
z
before line 3
--------
after line 3
x
y
z
grepAfter.awk
Command line:
awk -f grepAfter.awk test.txt
Output Listing:
after line 1
after line 2
after line 3
grepBefore.awk
Command line:
awk -f grepBefore.awk test.txt
Output Listing:
before line 1
before line 2
before line 3
I will be talking more about awk, awk vs. perl later, but this time I would like to demonstrate how easy it is to have versatile multi-grep functionality using AWK.
The goal is to print previous or next line that follows/goes before a line consisting of dashes (i.e. comments in C++/Java, text file with headings, etc.).
The text file is
test.txt
before line 1
--------
after line 1
x
y
z
before line 2
--------
after line 2
x
y
z
before line 3
--------
after line 3
x
y
z
grepAfter.awk
/^-+$/{
getline nextLine
print nextLine
}
Command line:
awk -f grepAfter.awk test.txt
Output Listing:
after line 1
after line 2
after line 3
grepBefore.awk
/^-+$/{
print prevLine
}
{
prevLine = $0
}
Command line:
awk -f grepBefore.awk test.txt
Output Listing:
before line 1
before line 2
before line 3
Thursday, June 24, 2004
DDOHH: Chinese Proverbs
Ok -- so some of these are cheesy, but sometimes cheesy is good -
Enjoy!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
1. Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
2. Man who run in front of car get tired.
3. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
4. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
7. Man with one chopstick go hungry.
8. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
9. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
10. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
11. Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
12. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
13. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
14. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
15. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
16. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
17. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
18. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
19. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
20. Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
21. Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
NRY: Absolute Friends by John Le Carre
Absolute Friends by John Le Carre
ISBN: 0316000698
Yet another disappointment and subtlety in book publishing industry. Foyles was selling latest Le Carre for £6.99. And only when I called them and asked for the book they said that it's "duty free" edition. Special soft-cover printed to be sold in airports only.
ISBN: 0316000698
Yet another disappointment and subtlety in book publishing industry. Foyles was selling latest Le Carre for £6.99. And only when I called them and asked for the book they said that it's "duty free" edition. Special soft-cover printed to be sold in airports only.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Comment: Writing Code Is Stupid
Writing Code Is Stupid
by Ian Wij
I agree with many concepts/points you declared in your article. Especially that code generation put into comparatively narrow context of 'informational systems' becomes manageable and cost-effective.
> So why hasn’t this been done already?
That's what I would like to comment on. It was. The tool called Synon/2E (later cool:2e, later Advantage:2e, now owned by CA.com) did it 20 years ago and (surprise-surprise) keeps going on: generates informational systems from business logic specifications.
The success/failure of many CASE tools I would say were a 'balance point" when a tool while evolving functionality instead of honestly generating code began to stuff 'AI' heuristics. There is a subtle difference I would say between 'raising abstraction' and 'increasing complexity'. And many CASE tools intermix these concepts.
by Ian Wij
I agree with many concepts/points you declared in your article. Especially that code generation put into comparatively narrow context of 'informational systems' becomes manageable and cost-effective.
> So why hasn’t this been done already?
That's what I would like to comment on. It was. The tool called Synon/2E (later cool:2e, later Advantage:2e, now owned by CA.com) did it 20 years ago and (surprise-surprise) keeps going on: generates informational systems from business logic specifications.
The success/failure of many CASE tools I would say were a 'balance point" when a tool while evolving functionality instead of honestly generating code began to stuff 'AI' heuristics. There is a subtle difference I would say between 'raising abstraction' and 'increasing complexity'. And many CASE tools intermix these concepts.
DDHH: Daily Dose of Healthy Humor; Infinity lesson.
Click here for Interactive Lesson about Infinity
http://www.mathmojo.com/interestinglessons/interactiveinfinity/Infinity1.html
http://www.mathmojo.com/interestinglessons/interactiveinfinity/Infinity1.html
Far phenomena
www.rarsoft.com
I still am looking for reasonable explanation of programmers that trade fashion for functionality.
The Norton Commander (or Far in its new incarnation) serves my needs for the last 15 years. The copying/moving operation does indeed involve TWO panes by definition source and destination. As well as many other file management operations. Windows Explorer NEVER had such mode thus it never was efficient or convenient for file housekeeping.
And nevertheless, most people prefer Explorer?!… Lets hope this blog would help enlighten at least some of them who are not completely hopeless.
I still am looking for reasonable explanation of programmers that trade fashion for functionality.
The Norton Commander (or Far in its new incarnation) serves my needs for the last 15 years. The copying/moving operation does indeed involve TWO panes by definition source and destination. As well as many other file management operations. Windows Explorer NEVER had such mode thus it never was efficient or convenient for file housekeeping.
And nevertheless, most people prefer Explorer?!… Lets hope this blog would help enlighten at least some of them who are not completely hopeless.
IRL: Garry Jennings, Aztec
Aztec by Gary Jennings
ISBN: 0812521463
Yet another gem that is not published anymore and can be found only in second-hand book stores. Amazing story and superb storytelling.
ISBN: 0812521463
Yet another gem that is not published anymore and can be found only in second-hand book stores. Amazing story and superb storytelling.
Monday, June 21, 2004
IRL: Stratagems. List of the Thirty-Six Strategies
Stratagems
List of the Thirty-Six Strategies
Another classical text. Hardly any comments are required.
http://balder.prohosting.com/ylesiuk/case/rdng/List.htm
(from http://www.chinastrategies.com/List.htm)
List of the Thirty-Six Strategies
Another classical text. Hardly any comments are required.
http://balder.prohosting.com/ylesiuk/case/rdng/List.htm
(from http://www.chinastrategies.com/List.htm)
New entries to Inspirational Reading List.
Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi.
http://balder.prohosting.com/ylesiuk/case/rdng/FiveRngs.htm
The book that triggered my desire to buy Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa
(ISBN: 4770019572). And it IS pretty damn hard to persuade me to buy anything in its hardcopy...
http://balder.prohosting.com/ylesiuk/case/rdng/FiveRngs.htm
The book that triggered my desire to buy Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa
(ISBN: 4770019572). And it IS pretty damn hard to persuade me to buy anything in its hardcopy...
2e java generator
The 2e-to-java generator project progresses. Slowly but surely.
The java arithmetics expressions generator is ready. The logical expressions generator is approaching. The nesting statements are working.
So now, its time to concentrate on persistancy layer.
The java arithmetics expressions generator is ready. The logical expressions generator is approaching. The nesting statements are working.
So now, its time to concentrate on persistancy layer.
At last...
I was thinking about creating blog for myself for some time.
At last one definitive factor overweighted my laziness. As a result I can track/memo myself:)
At last one definitive factor overweighted my laziness. As a result I can track/memo myself:)
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